Mesmerized

As seen by TLC

10-20-10

I stopped by to see my daughter and her 1 month old this morning, my first grandson. She was holding him, post feeding, and he was just staring at her. I sat next to her, amazed at his focus. She smiled at him and his eyes widened. She spoke to him and he moved his mouth. No smiles yet, that comes soon, but his contentedness and his intense gaze caught me so that I could not look away from them.

This is what I want, the Lord mentioned to me later. In prayer time, the one-on-one time with our Heavenly Father, He wants to be with us and to experience our unwavering gaze upon Him. The delight on my new grandson’s face was to hard miss, his beloved mom was holding him and he had the ability to not just feel her heartbeat or hear her voice, he could look on her with love and awe, mesmerized.

From Could or Ought to

As told to TLC on 10-15-10

I woke up to Moody’s radio station, hearing this very interesting discussion concerning a new book on the praying life by Jennifer Kennedy Dean. The radio host talked about the necessity of moving away from the thought that prayer is more “could or ought to” and into prayer as a “get to” state of mind, where God prompts us to talk with Him. It’s not that we get to come to God when we choose, but that He prompts us to come into His open arms for a chat. The ladies on the radio continued to discuss that Christians need to move away from a prayer “time” and into a praying life, a life in constant dialogue with Jesus Christ our Savior.

This so sums up my blog and God’s attempt to move me into His arms – to move beyond looking and seeing God into the closeness of being with Him, daily – hourly – minutely. I can’t fathom being with Him every second yet but that’s how Christ walked this earth. I’ve again gone a few days “running” through my life with barely any thoughts directed His way and, again, I’ve asked forgiveness for not being with Him more, He who created me and loves me more than anyone else. I get to be with the Lord, my God and Savior who pursues me daily and who asks that I just look and be with Him. “Get to” is present tense not just a vague future tense!

Training to Run the Race

as told to TLC on 1-31-10

Run the race as if to win, the apostle Paul said in his letter to the church at Corinth. It was the topic of church and lots of sports analogies were used. But I understood it from a different direction. I loved music and endured running in high school, especially since I always came in last place in sports but took firsts in music. So this running to win analogy made sense to me intellectually but not tangibly and God knew it. He came at me a bit sideways with this principle, so I could fully grasp it.

Training physically is equally valid in sports and music. But we musicians call it practicing and God brought to mind a typical musical practice – with long tone warm ups, scales, breathing exercises, sightreading and the actual playing of a piece of music. Like a physical warm up routine for sports, there’s a method to musical practice. I then thought of the difference that practicing for a competition made in contrast to just playing my instrument daily. Quite the difference – the intensity of the warming up, the variety of exercises I would choose and then the sheer amount of time focused on the competition piece. Wow – quite the difference! Musically, I do not compete anymore but instead play for fun and I wonder if I am guilty of unfocused training – neither musically nor spiritually! My love of God and love for music are too important to leave behind in the dust as I meander through life.

So, I stop meandering and start intentionally giving my time and attention to finishing what I began long ago – to communicate through music and to love my Creator with all of me. The finish line is just ahead and it’s time to get serious again!

1 Corinthians 9

Homecoming 2010

October1st 2010

It’s Homecoming Week for my family and it’s been a pretty busy month overall: family wedding, new grandbaby, 50^th anniversary for our folks and now Homecoming. I had the privilege of delivering a meal to another family from church this week too and enjoyed actually being home for a couple hours, baking and cooking. I was looking forward to a brief visit while dropping off the food, hoping God might do something but it didn’t happen. Thankfully I had put in a card with our prayers for them and our contact info, just in case. But it saddened me – whether because I felt too shy to barge in briefly or intimidated by their nice home in a new neighborhood or both. It’s very rare that I drop off a meal to someone in house that’s like mine – really old with lots of work put into it. God reminded me that I could entrust Him with their circumstance and mine, and that He had it all covered. Besides, the gift of warm, homemade cinnamon bread was just right for that moment in time for both of us. And I find myself content in His warm love once again.