Empty Nest

by tlc 

8-22-13

We took our last child to college this week and came home to an empty house. Oh sure, the bedroom was still intact yet empty and tidy, a strange thing in and of itself. That first evening alone was weird, we could eat whatever we felt like or go wherever we wanted. We could even go to bed at whatever time we desired! After 3 decades of parenting, we were finally on our own and at a complete loss.

So what did we do? We were so exhausted from the college move that we ordered our favorite kind of pizza and ate it while lounging on the sofa, watching the Cubs on TV. Next we decided we’d go to bed at the hour our folks do, before 10. They, too, are early risers.

For me, the part-time worker and full-time parent in the family, I found myself wandering around the next day without focus. I had mid-day plans to take a friend to an appointment but I wondered the whole time what my college kid was doing, no longer aware of my child’s schedule, plans, needs… So I chose to fast, focusing on God and lifting others up to Him through prayer. A short mid-day fast where I could ask Him what He had next for me. Even then I felt so unfocused.

What happened next amazed me – I heard Him clearly.  He told me He had waited for me to work through the emotions of parental letting go before bringing the idea of the fast to mind, seeking to comfort me. He pointed out the sign He provided the day before, a sign for my child as well as for me. The sunshine of the day had bounced off a CD of her music and created a rainbow, directly over her head. I will continue watching over her, I felt God say. 

I realize that parenting has defined me far more than any other role in my life. Now that I’m no longer needed as much by my kids, my plan was to spend more time with my spouse. Now I see that I can let Christ define me in whatever comes next. We will walk together even closer, hand-in-hand, He assures me. Yes, all three of us. 

P.S. What is God teaching you at this point in your life?

View from the Hammock 2

Being There

7-10-13

It took time for me to make it to the hammock again. After the writing conference, I found myself in catch-up mode. And then it happened, gut wrenching pain on my right side. Appendicitis complete with same day surgery and 3 weeks of recovery. I didn’t make it back to the hammock until just last week.

I tried writing a “from the couch” snippet but I was just too tired and groggy.  But while awaiting surgery at the hospital, I wrote an article on praying through pain and a poem about trust. I even read a book since it took awhile to squeeze me into the surgery schedule. As long as I stood, I wasn’t in too much pain, weirdly enough, so all this was done standing.

And then came the resting. I could barely stand and wasn’t able to do very much other than recover. My coworkers sent a meal and flowers and my daughters came to visit the next day when I was released. The grandkids looked on worriedly and then asked to see my ouchies. I couldn’t do a darn thing but lie there and just be.

I look at the gift of being there and marvel. I’m grateful that my appendix didn’t explode, God impressing on me the need to go see the doctor asap. My doctor was fully present and concerned, telling my spouse to take me to the ER right away. The hospital staff assessed the situation, sent me into surgery, and helped me with recovery. The folks who brought us meals at home eased the stress of the situation. I think about the blessing of each person in this process and see the hand of God just in them being there!

TLC

PS Are you going through a time of standing or just being right now? Who has God brought to your side during this?

View from the Hammock

My family shoo-ed me away from yard work and into the hammock in order to give me that hard to find time for writing. They know I always find an X, Y and Z to do before I can write. Yes I did turn over laundry and assist my spouse with transplanting a sapling before stretching out in compliance. So this is my "Z" writing about writing.

Tomorrow I head off to a writers conference so today's task is the book proposal. Now, I have a good one-sheet but I hadn't realized that books needed their own resumes, a long resume of 10-20 pages filled with details such as markets, comparable books and the author's innovative promotional strategies.
As I stare at the cloudless sky, the blooming wildflowers (and weeds) and see the yard work ahead of me, I sense God's hand on me, forcing me to the hammock for rest.

Yes, rest. I must rest in Him, relying on His direction in this half-written book that has some possibility. My place is in the hammock, away from the busyness of my life for a time. A daily time now that the hammock lives in my yard again. God seems to want to use this book on parenting and I must step aside from my life and let Him do the leading and deciding. I can assist by getting away from my email, work to-do's and home repair (currently a hole in the floor underneath the stairs) and obey His leading to pray and praise and then write. Even if it's just writing about trying to write.

Okay, Lord. I'm in the hammock. May Your will be done, here as it is in heaven.

TLC
PS What about you? How and where do you make time for God?

PBG - Planned By God

God’s timing still seems to amaze me! This weekend brought a spell of vertigo, a visit with the grandchildren and an ER trip for my youngest in the midst of all the college planning. Then the five books came today in the mail– my payment for being a contributor to the newly released I Believe in Healing by Cecil Murphey and Twila Belk. I am amazed that God times these things perfectly and humbled to be a participant in His work. How is God’s timing in your life? Please share a scripture or time where God was so evident in your life!

TLC Nielsen

4-29-13

The oldest grandchild minus one tooth!

Starting Anew with You - Spring 2013

As I've prayed over what this blog should be and where God would have it, I discovered I should start anew. With Easter and spring finally here and my "next" 50 years in progress, I need to start fresh and create a safe dialogue on topics God brings before us - together! So here's a snippet I wrote in my first half century of life and I'm hopeful you'll comment on it and the conversation will start! I'll try to get a new one up weekly so we can keep learning from one another.

At Home in His Heart 2010

I need to write this down before I forget but it's a feeling more than a concept. Here goes - while singing during the music worship time at church this first week of the year, a phrase struck me: "make my heart your home." The reality, however, is that I need to make HIS heart MY home. How at home am I really in His heart? How much of His love pours out through my life? Why do I feel more like a guest than a resident with Christ? 

How do you answer these questions?

TLC

Answered Prayer

7-5-12 

 by TLC

As I was cleaning the six older chairs outside in the 90 degree heat, I was smiling. Ten degrees cooler after the brief rain, thank heavens.  I couldn’t believe I received the chairs I had prayed for and they were free!

I had 2 harp-backed chairs already and loved the beauty of them. The second one I found in a thrift store last year.  I hadn’t been able to find any more and it came up in prayer time not too long ago.  So I asked God, if possible, for free or low cost harp-backed chairs since our current dining room chairs, inherited by one of our grandmothers two decades ago, were falling apart one after another. It wasn’t in our budget since property taxes had jumped over $1000 this year.

So here I was in 90 degree cool  weather with free chairs in need of cleaning and fixing, amazed by answered prayer. God saw my need to be loved, heard (and seated safely) and responded! Now I need to pray for that new grandbaby that’s due soon.  Oops, there’s the phone.  I wonder...

Father, thank you for Your Son and Your Love. You always amaze me especially because You remind me to ask for the ordinary as well as the miraculous.

Matthew 7:7-11 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is heaven give good things to them that ask him? (KJ)

Mistakes

By TLC

6-4-12

The last thing I expected from a writing conference was being bullied.

It was my first writing conference ever and it was on my very first day, in my very first meeting. I thought the meeting had gone okay but I had made a mistake. Within the hour, my mistake was made public when this publishing personality used it as an example of “a stupid mistake writers should never make.” The nail in the coffin was the fact that this person couldn’t believe this had happened to them once! Definitely a reference to our meeting just an hour ago. Of course it received huge laughter and I just wanted to run away.

I had a past history with bullies, having moved around so much as a kid. Someone always needed to feel special and better than the new kid.  And here at a Christian writing conference, a Godly person felt the need to get a laugh at the expense of a new writer in order to teach others not to be quite so stupid. After a few people picked up the pieces of my heart and convinced me to stay at the conference God so clearly wanted me to attend, I decided to pray for healing – for the both of us. I so wanted to bully the person back by reporting what they did to those running the conference.  I cried and prayed instead, and God used the brokenness to hold me close, assuring me that I did not want to choose to bully back. I needed to turn the other cheek and walk the extra mile by praying for them, even encouraging others to meet with this person and take their class too.

Yes, God worked on me so that the next day I went to this person’s class. It was a great class and I took lots of notes, yet what I saw there made me realize I could fill out the end-of-conference survey with a helpful rather than critical suggestion. This person had a sarcastic sense of humor and liked using bad, real life examples to teach how to write. Everyone has the potential to be a bully – it’s just sin nature to feel better about ourselves by tearing someone else down, especially in humor.

My last day of the conference was amazing, a bookend for my first day of stupid mistakes. The editor I really wanted to meet with was encouraging and real, challenging me to finish my books and to write articles. If I had gone home in defeat that first day, I would have missed this joy. While I currently do not feel safe enough to interact with that first publishing personality or the parent organization, I hope to someday find the courage to do so, perhaps finally learning to forgive completely (myself as well as them). I will continue to offer them up to God since, like me, they make an occasional stupid mistake.

Is there anyone you need to forgive? Here's scripture to help!
Ephesians 4:29-32 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (NIV, italics mine)

Luke 6: 37-38 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (NIV, Christ's own words)

Mark 11:25 "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." (NIV, italics mine)