Easter was amazing this year. My family played strings for the Good Friday services and I had the privilege of playing in a brass quartet on Easter at an area Catholic church. This was my first Easter since learning about God’s covenant in bible study and it was fresh and new again – Christ fulfilling the requirements of the law and establishing a forever covenant once and for all! The power of Good Friday and the shock of the Passover sacrifice and then the relief and awe of Easter and the resurrection gripped me.
In the midst of this, of course, was some personal drama – my spouse wanted to take a work promotion that would require family sacrifice. Now my spouse is a workaholic (hence the promotion offer) but we have just a couple years left with our youngest that I wanted us to maximize. Needless to say, things heated up and I caught a glimpse of our true relational status in the process. When we celebrated our 25th anniversary a few years back, I really thought the toughest times were over. It’s actually the next 25 that will be challenging!
So I grieved for my marriage this month, coming to God more often in my anguish, while awaiting my spouse’s decision. Of course other life drama was added to the pile (things never seem to happen singly) and harsh words were spoken – words that hung in the air between us. I became angry at these words even though I kept asking for help from God in forgiving and being forgiven.
While playing Easter Sunday, I felt God connect with me and my desire for Him. I had reached that place in my walk with Him (we just celebrated 25 years together too) where I desired to be off spiritual milk and be not just a child of His, but a full covenant partner too. As I groaned under the weight of my grief, seeking the hope of Easter, God took the weight from me and gave me this thought as I played trombone: He has written the music for all parts to be played together, with even the silence measured out; each part is essential and when one part is missing, the music isn’t complete nor as beautiful as He meant it to be.
The beauty of completeness - each person being fully available to God, to their family and their church family. God was asking me at this particular point to not only fully honor the covenant with my spouse (until death do us part) but to offer more than just leftovers - to wholeheartedly love, regardless. Yes, the Lord mentioned He too deals with a lot of leftovers. As of this Easter, I am determined to give God the first fruits He deserves: of my love, my time, my finances, my rest (Hebrews) and of my family. I'm determined to offer Him the best, not just the leftovers!